Hello boils and
ghouls, it’s the most wonderful time of the year! October is my favorite month,
the weather gets colder, the leaves change, and everything gets scarier. In
honor of my favorite time of the year, we’re going to spook things up here. To
kick it off, we’re going to discuss my favorite creepy kids in films. There’s
nothing like taking something cute and turning it into a little monster.
Let’s get started.
This is one of my
favorite films, and one of my favorite short stories from Stephen King. In the
film, these kids slaughtered the adults and began to run the town themselves.
The most vicious of the children is their leader Isaac, who vows to keep them
in line while preaching the things he learns from “He Who Walks Behind the
Rows”. His right-hand man, Malachi, who’s the muscle, helps him keep things
running smooth. My favorite scene is the one where he has Linda by the face, dragging her through the streets yelling "Outlander"- classic. These brainwashed, little murders are the reason I would never
want to get lost in a corn field. Fun fact: my first imaginary friends were
Isaac and Malachi.
The Ring was a film
that genuinely freaked me out when I first saw it. Mainly because of the
decrepit little girl that crawls out of the freaking TV to murder you. Samara
seemed like this tortured soul that just wanted to be loved, too bad she
literally just wanted to hurt people for funsies. If her name pops up on my
phone, better believe she’s getting blocked.
Another favorite from
Stephen King. Poor little Gage didn’t ask to become a soulless demon hell-bent
on killing, it just kinda happened. Death does strange things to people, and
when Gage was killed it destroyed his father, so he buried him in the "pet
semetary" but the thing that returned, wasn’t his bundle of joy. Going around
and slicing tendons, trying to kill his parents, that’s at least an hour in the
time out chair.
At first, you’re
thinking this is just a kid with some anger issues. Maybe it’s from her
mysterious past, or maybe she’s just a 30 year old passing off as a kid. Either
way, she was a terror on the playground, although, that kid totally had it
coming. Trying to kill her new brother,
manipulating her deaf sister, and killing nuns weren’t even the creepiest things she did. It
wasn’t until she tried seducing the husband that it got weird.
The name Damien was
forever changed for me thanks to this film. Having a creepy kid is one thing,
having the literal Antichrist is another. His nanny commits suicide for him, a
priest tries to warn the family of what he truly is and gets impaled by a
lightning rod, and of course- trying to kill his mom still wasn’t enough for
the dad to believe little Damien was the spawn of Satan.
The fact that nobody
really questioned why there was a mass pregnancy or the fact that all of the
children born that day all looked similar- is beyond me. They each have light
blonde hair, pale skin and glowing eyes, totally normal. They’re all
telepathically linked with one another and have the power to control the
actions of others, allowing them to cause the deaths of anyone that gets in
their way. #SquadGoals
Not a horror film,
but I still wouldn’t want Henry as a son. Now we know why he got left home
alone all of the time. This kid is a master manipulator and has all of the
qualities of a serial killer in the making. Killing small animals, causing huge
car crashes, hurting his little sister, being a pathological liar, and it
brings him such joy.
What do you do when
your annoyingly cute little sister gets everything? Kill her of course! Alice
was tired of always being second to little Karen, so on the day of her
communion, she offs her and goes through the ceremony herself. More people begin
to die and all fingers point to Alice. Her mask that she’s so fond of is what
makes it even creepier, ugh.
It’s Christmas but
these kids have much more than presents on their minds. They develop the desire
to just slaughter all of the adults in gruesome ways. Just for…being adults?
The kids go from sweet and innocent to little killing machines, making them
even creepier. They’re definitely getting coal in their stockings.
Like…all I’m saying
is that I’m not trying to run into them in any hallway. Ever.
Deformed, demon-like
children, hell-bent on killing, aka mommy’s little helpers. The “children” are
created when Nova, a deranged woman undergoes psychoplasmics. They are an
extension of her anger and misfortune and they kill anyone that’s ever wronged
her. Her grandmother, her ex husband, a former teacher all end up dead.
Basically, if you’ve ever wronged their mother, it might be time to make
amends.
Carol
Anne didn’t ask for any of this. She didn’t tell her parents to move on top of
an old Indian cemetery or to get captured by the spirits in their house, it
just happened. Carol Anne casually talking to the things in their house and
announcing their arrival with the simple phrase “they’re here,” is what makes
her perfect for this list. The rest of the events, make the film just creepy in general.
Saving my favorite
for last. Reagan was an innocent child, who ended up being one of the creepiest
kids ever because she was possessed by a demon. Defiling her body with
crucifixes, vomiting on priests, saying charming phrases like “your mother
sucks c*cks in hell”, so cute. It’s all fun and games until your head spins
around.
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