In light of the recent influx of news regarding celebrities committing suicide, I think it’s important to open the floor to discuss mental health. It’s startling to see the number of recent suicides in the news. Even in my personal life, I recently discovered someone close to my family killed themselves. It’s important that we keep the discussion on mental health and suicide prevention alive at all times – not just when a celebrity kills themselves or when the new season of 13 Reasons Why is released.

Why you may ask? Because we need to normalize mental illness in order to lessen the stigma surrounding it. One of the first things you hear someone say after news breaks of, yet another suicide is “they seemed fine! I guess you never really know what someone is going through.” And that’s right, you never truly know what someone is going through unless they tell you and quite often the person in question isn’t going to talk about what they’re going through because mental illness is so stigmatized in society. For example, if someone has a sore throat they have no problem explaining that to people. Same if you have a cold or any other physical aliment. Now say you’re having an off day or you’re experiencing any other number of symptoms resulting from your mental illness, how often do you tell others how you’re feeling? Too often do those suffering put on a brave face or simply give a vague response like “I’m just tired.” Because that’s easier than saying it’s because of your mental illness.

It’s too common for those living with mental illness to suffer in silence because of how society treats mental health. Instead of being met with understanding they’re met with hostility, disbelief, or they’re simply shrugged off. This stigma stems from the general lack of knowledge on mental health and the portrayal of mental health in the media. The portrayal of mental health is often over-saturated images of sad teens and broken hearts, dramatized suicide scenes used for shock value, and characters like Hannah Baker that use suicide as a revenge method. You see someone talking about mental health and the comments range from “what do they have to be depressed about?” “How could they leave behind their family?” “We all get sad sometimes”.

Yeah, that’s not how mental illness works.

Mental illness doesn’t give a shit who you are, what you do, how much money you have, NONE of that matters. Mental illness will still creep into your life, poison your mind, and then act like it didn’t just shit on your entire life. Depression is not just “feeling sad”, it’s feeling so fatigued that you’re too tired to take care of yourself. It’s neglecting your responsibilities and self-care because you just can’t find the motivation or energy and you don’t care about the consequences. Anxiety is more than getting stressed out. It’s dread and panic seeping into your chest and tightening its grip till you can’t breathe. Bipolar Disorder is more than “mood swings.” People can experience Bipolar Disorder in a number of ways. Schizophrenia is not the image that media and entertainment has painted. It’s not people that are “violent”, “unstable”, or constantly have delusions or hallucinations. The media as mentioned before, tries to portray over-saturated depictions of mental health, showing schizophrenics as “insane” and suffering from psychotic episodes instead of showing the other symptoms associated with the disorder.

The more you educate yourself on mental health, the better the discussion can be. Discussing mental health should be as common as telling someone you have the flu. We need to be able to open the floor to these topics so that those living with mental illness feel more comfortable with talking about it. If we keep stigmatizing mental illness, those suffering will continue to fear talking about the things they deal with and as a result, more people will continue to suffer alone in fear of how others will react or treat them. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to admit you need help and to seek help. It’s okay to reach out and go to therapy, counselling, etc. It’s okay to take medication. You are valid, and you should not be shamed for living with mental illness.

We’ve got to do better. We’ve got to end the stigma and start spreading knowledge, compassion, and understanding. We can’t allow those suffering to be ignored, bashed or met with judgement. Suicide prevention starts with us. If someone opens up to you, listen and try to understand what they’re going through. Don’t wait until there’s another headline or hashtag to make an effort.

Reach out to your friends and family. Let them know you hear them, you care about them, and you need them to still be here. Some people find comfort in calling hotlines and talking to strangers because it’s easier for them but there are many others that will not pick up the phone and call a number to talk to someone they don’t know. Let your loved ones know they can trust you to listen and be there for them. For those living with mental illness: please, do not be afraid to tell someone you’re hurting, or you need help. I would rather spend hours listening to someone talk about their problems than for them to feel hopeless and lost.

With the news of Chester Bennington’s death weighing heavy on the hearts of people across the world, I think it’s important that we have a discussion about mental health. Mental health affects everyone differently, and for some it’s like being trapped inside a living nightmare. Living with mental illness is never easy; sometimes it feels like it’s eating away at you on a daily basis. While the affects of mental illness can be tough, talking about it and getting help can be even harder.

My own experiences with mental illness are full of ups and downs. Everyday it’s like a war inside my head. As cliché as that sounds, there’s really no other way to describe it, my anxiety and depression are constantly butting heads. I’m either on the verge of a panic attack or I’m fighting to find the strength to get out of bed. I either feel everything or nothing at all. My depression however, is the real demon in my life. Sucking out every ounce of happiness till there’s nothing but a deep ache in my chest and an overwhelming sadness that feels like it’s never going to end. It’s that nagging voice inside your head that says “it’s never going to get better so why not end things now and save yourself the trouble?”  For a while I was able to ignore that voice till I finally let it get the best of me and I had a relapse a few months ago. Mental illness has left me scarred, both physically and mentally. No one should have to endure that pain alone which is why getting help is so important.

Nobody ever wants to talk about mental health. It’s become this taboo subject that people are ashamed to discuss in fear of being judged and it only contributes to the pain. The stigma surrounding mental health has got to end. We need to be able to discuss mental health in a healthy way in order to prevent more suicides from happening. Treating mental health like it’s this forbidden topic that can’t be discussed in public is what prevents those dealing with mental illness from reaching out and getting the help they need. You’re not crazy, you’re not selfish or overdramatic, what you’re feeling is valid and you are more than worthy of receiving the care that you need.

I was terrified to admit that I needed help. I already had too much on my plate; I didn’t want to add mental illness on top of it.  The way people approach mental health is where the problem lies. On one end you have those that treat it like it’s something to be looked down on. It’s finally having the courage to open up to your “friends” and being met with stares and silence or backlash and thinking “shit, let’s never do that again.” On the other end you have people that romanticize mental illness, which only adds to the stigma. It’s watching a show like 13 Reasons Why and seeing a girl kill herself and use suicide as a revenge method to torture her peers. It’s watching the producers of a show change the method used in the book just so they could make the scene bloodier for shock value in the same way a horror director would use a decapitation scene. Exploiting mental illness and suicide is not how you spread awareness. Furthermore – having a show centered on suicide and not mentioning how mental health plays a huge factor or offering any alternatives to suicide and how to get help is counterproductive.

We have to start looking at mental illness for what it is – an illness. It can affect your life both mentally and physically and it can mean life or death for a lot of individuals that experience it. It’s our job to end the stigma surrounding mental health and start being a beacon of hope in the lives of those that need it the most. There’s no magic trick to dealing with mental health. It’s a combination of treatment, therapy and healthy coping methods. It’s about taking care of yourself and your well-being and surrounding yourself with a support group that is loving and will be there for you through your recovery.

Getting help is never easy. It can be terrifying to put yourself out there and say that you need help but I promise you that you do not have to go through this alone. You are loved, you are important, and you owe it to yourself to get the help you need. Suicide is a very permanent end to your problems and there are so many alternatives available that can help assist you. In addition to that, there are a wide variety of organizations dedicated to providing hope and resources to those dealing with mental illness. As many of you know, music is my biggest ally when it comes to combating my mental illness and a lot of these organizations use music as a way to reach out to those in need and connect with them on a personal level. Whether you need to a place to share your story without judgment, connect with others dealing with similar situations, or an opportunity to give back and help those find hope, these organizations can be a huge help.

Can You Hear Me: A movement dedicated to giving teens an online outlet to share their story and be heard without fear of judgment.

Heart Support: A non-profit organization whose goal is to unite the music scene through hope and faith to build a community so no one has to suffer alone.

Hope For the Day: A non-profit outreach program that focuses on suicide prevention by providing education on mental health through self-expression platforms.

To Write Love on Her Arms: A non-profit dedicated to presenting hope and find help for those struggling with addiction, mental illness, self-harm and suicide prevention.

In addition here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1 (800) 273-8255

And a link to the online chat for those that are more comfortable with chating online instead of over the phone.

It’s okay to not be okay. It’s not okay to suffer alone because you don’t have to. You can survive this.