In light of the recent influx of news regarding celebrities committing suicide, I think it’s important to open the floor to discuss mental health. It’s startling to see the number of recent suicides in the news. Even in my personal life, I recently discovered someone close to my family killed themselves. It’s important that we keep the discussion on mental health and suicide prevention alive at all times – not just when a celebrity kills themselves or when the new season of 13 Reasons Why is released.

Why you may ask? Because we need to normalize mental illness in order to lessen the stigma surrounding it. One of the first things you hear someone say after news breaks of, yet another suicide is “they seemed fine! I guess you never really know what someone is going through.” And that’s right, you never truly know what someone is going through unless they tell you and quite often the person in question isn’t going to talk about what they’re going through because mental illness is so stigmatized in society. For example, if someone has a sore throat they have no problem explaining that to people. Same if you have a cold or any other physical aliment. Now say you’re having an off day or you’re experiencing any other number of symptoms resulting from your mental illness, how often do you tell others how you’re feeling? Too often do those suffering put on a brave face or simply give a vague response like “I’m just tired.” Because that’s easier than saying it’s because of your mental illness.

It’s too common for those living with mental illness to suffer in silence because of how society treats mental health. Instead of being met with understanding they’re met with hostility, disbelief, or they’re simply shrugged off. This stigma stems from the general lack of knowledge on mental health and the portrayal of mental health in the media. The portrayal of mental health is often over-saturated images of sad teens and broken hearts, dramatized suicide scenes used for shock value, and characters like Hannah Baker that use suicide as a revenge method. You see someone talking about mental health and the comments range from “what do they have to be depressed about?” “How could they leave behind their family?” “We all get sad sometimes”.

Yeah, that’s not how mental illness works.

Mental illness doesn’t give a shit who you are, what you do, how much money you have, NONE of that matters. Mental illness will still creep into your life, poison your mind, and then act like it didn’t just shit on your entire life. Depression is not just “feeling sad”, it’s feeling so fatigued that you’re too tired to take care of yourself. It’s neglecting your responsibilities and self-care because you just can’t find the motivation or energy and you don’t care about the consequences. Anxiety is more than getting stressed out. It’s dread and panic seeping into your chest and tightening its grip till you can’t breathe. Bipolar Disorder is more than “mood swings.” People can experience Bipolar Disorder in a number of ways. Schizophrenia is not the image that media and entertainment has painted. It’s not people that are “violent”, “unstable”, or constantly have delusions or hallucinations. The media as mentioned before, tries to portray over-saturated depictions of mental health, showing schizophrenics as “insane” and suffering from psychotic episodes instead of showing the other symptoms associated with the disorder.

The more you educate yourself on mental health, the better the discussion can be. Discussing mental health should be as common as telling someone you have the flu. We need to be able to open the floor to these topics so that those living with mental illness feel more comfortable with talking about it. If we keep stigmatizing mental illness, those suffering will continue to fear talking about the things they deal with and as a result, more people will continue to suffer alone in fear of how others will react or treat them. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to admit you need help and to seek help. It’s okay to reach out and go to therapy, counselling, etc. It’s okay to take medication. You are valid, and you should not be shamed for living with mental illness.

We’ve got to do better. We’ve got to end the stigma and start spreading knowledge, compassion, and understanding. We can’t allow those suffering to be ignored, bashed or met with judgement. Suicide prevention starts with us. If someone opens up to you, listen and try to understand what they’re going through. Don’t wait until there’s another headline or hashtag to make an effort.

Reach out to your friends and family. Let them know you hear them, you care about them, and you need them to still be here. Some people find comfort in calling hotlines and talking to strangers because it’s easier for them but there are many others that will not pick up the phone and call a number to talk to someone they don’t know. Let your loved ones know they can trust you to listen and be there for them. For those living with mental illness: please, do not be afraid to tell someone you’re hurting, or you need help. I would rather spend hours listening to someone talk about their problems than for them to feel hopeless and lost.

With the news of Chester Bennington’s death weighing heavy on the hearts of people across the world, I think it’s important that we have a discussion about mental health. Mental health affects everyone differently, and for some it’s like being trapped inside a living nightmare. Living with mental illness is never easy; sometimes it feels like it’s eating away at you on a daily basis. While the affects of mental illness can be tough, talking about it and getting help can be even harder.

My own experiences with mental illness are full of ups and downs. Everyday it’s like a war inside my head. As cliché as that sounds, there’s really no other way to describe it, my anxiety and depression are constantly butting heads. I’m either on the verge of a panic attack or I’m fighting to find the strength to get out of bed. I either feel everything or nothing at all. My depression however, is the real demon in my life. Sucking out every ounce of happiness till there’s nothing but a deep ache in my chest and an overwhelming sadness that feels like it’s never going to end. It’s that nagging voice inside your head that says “it’s never going to get better so why not end things now and save yourself the trouble?”  For a while I was able to ignore that voice till I finally let it get the best of me and I had a relapse a few months ago. Mental illness has left me scarred, both physically and mentally. No one should have to endure that pain alone which is why getting help is so important.

Nobody ever wants to talk about mental health. It’s become this taboo subject that people are ashamed to discuss in fear of being judged and it only contributes to the pain. The stigma surrounding mental health has got to end. We need to be able to discuss mental health in a healthy way in order to prevent more suicides from happening. Treating mental health like it’s this forbidden topic that can’t be discussed in public is what prevents those dealing with mental illness from reaching out and getting the help they need. You’re not crazy, you’re not selfish or overdramatic, what you’re feeling is valid and you are more than worthy of receiving the care that you need.

I was terrified to admit that I needed help. I already had too much on my plate; I didn’t want to add mental illness on top of it.  The way people approach mental health is where the problem lies. On one end you have those that treat it like it’s something to be looked down on. It’s finally having the courage to open up to your “friends” and being met with stares and silence or backlash and thinking “shit, let’s never do that again.” On the other end you have people that romanticize mental illness, which only adds to the stigma. It’s watching a show like 13 Reasons Why and seeing a girl kill herself and use suicide as a revenge method to torture her peers. It’s watching the producers of a show change the method used in the book just so they could make the scene bloodier for shock value in the same way a horror director would use a decapitation scene. Exploiting mental illness and suicide is not how you spread awareness. Furthermore – having a show centered on suicide and not mentioning how mental health plays a huge factor or offering any alternatives to suicide and how to get help is counterproductive.

We have to start looking at mental illness for what it is – an illness. It can affect your life both mentally and physically and it can mean life or death for a lot of individuals that experience it. It’s our job to end the stigma surrounding mental health and start being a beacon of hope in the lives of those that need it the most. There’s no magic trick to dealing with mental health. It’s a combination of treatment, therapy and healthy coping methods. It’s about taking care of yourself and your well-being and surrounding yourself with a support group that is loving and will be there for you through your recovery.

Getting help is never easy. It can be terrifying to put yourself out there and say that you need help but I promise you that you do not have to go through this alone. You are loved, you are important, and you owe it to yourself to get the help you need. Suicide is a very permanent end to your problems and there are so many alternatives available that can help assist you. In addition to that, there are a wide variety of organizations dedicated to providing hope and resources to those dealing with mental illness. As many of you know, music is my biggest ally when it comes to combating my mental illness and a lot of these organizations use music as a way to reach out to those in need and connect with them on a personal level. Whether you need to a place to share your story without judgment, connect with others dealing with similar situations, or an opportunity to give back and help those find hope, these organizations can be a huge help.

Can You Hear Me: A movement dedicated to giving teens an online outlet to share their story and be heard without fear of judgment.

Heart Support: A non-profit organization whose goal is to unite the music scene through hope and faith to build a community so no one has to suffer alone.

Hope For the Day: A non-profit outreach program that focuses on suicide prevention by providing education on mental health through self-expression platforms.

To Write Love on Her Arms: A non-profit dedicated to presenting hope and find help for those struggling with addiction, mental illness, self-harm and suicide prevention.

In addition here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1 (800) 273-8255

And a link to the online chat for those that are more comfortable with chating online instead of over the phone.

It’s okay to not be okay. It’s not okay to suffer alone because you don’t have to. You can survive this.

For me, self-love is one of the hardest concepts to grasp. It’s something that I’ve struggled with since I was a kid. When I checked my subscription box this morning I saw a video from Hello Katy on YouTube titled “My Thick Thighs” and I’m so glad I watched it. It was perfect timing because just minutes before I clicked on it, I had looked in the mirror while getting ready and immediately started saying how much I hated what I saw. It inspired me to sit down and think about just why is it so hard for me to say “I love you” to myself.

When it comes to those around me, I can always find beauty and things I love about them. Whether it’s my friends, family, or someone on the internet, I can easily sit there and say what I love about them and why they should love themselves. I tend to have a bit of a savior complex, always wanting to help others find it within themselves to love themselves and their bodies because loving others is easy for me. Whenever I see someone talking about how much they hate themselves I immediately turn into Leslie Knope and I make it my job to uplift them and tell them just how amazing they are. But when it comes to myself and my own body, I can sit and tear myself to shreds without even batting an eye.

The amount of times I’ve looked in the mirror and cried because of what I saw is astounding. The times I’ve cried myself to sleep over how much I hated myself is all too frequent. I’ve never understood why it was so easy to look at myself and feel compelled to openly tear myself to pieces, nitpicking at every little imperfection, tearing away at myself till there’s nothing left. I’m always the first to uplift my friends and tell them they should love themselves and tell them how beautiful they are, inside and out; but I feel like such hypocrite for telling them to love themselves when I can’t even look in the mirror without crying.

It’s hard to love the parts of yourself that are imperfect when you’ve been told your whole life that you should hate them. When getting ready to go out with my friends I sit there and give myself a pep talk to even find it in me to get up and join them. Getting ready takes forever, not because I’m spending time on my hair or makeup, but because I’ll change outfits two or three times because I felt hideous in the first one. Wearing shorts or tops that show my arms take a lot out of me because the whole time I’m hyper-aware of how thick my thighs are or how uncomfortable I am with my arms. Crop tops were completely out of the question. It’s hard to feel beautiful when you’ve had every single negative and hateful comment ingrained into your head. I’ve heard it all, every backhanded comment and the looks, they replay every time I get dressed to leave the house. It’s hard always being the butt of the joke or having someone smile in your face when you heard the shitty comment they made about your body just minutes ago, when they thought you weren’t listening. Those were the moments playing in the back of my head when I would hide out in the bathroom and throw up the meal I had just ate. Those same hateful things said about me were the things I’d tell myself when I’d skip a meal. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to eat around others because I didn’t want them to see me eat. I would have rather cut away pieces of my body than to sit there and eat a meal in public like a normal human being.

Talking about my eating disorder is always hard for me to do. Talking about any mental health issue is hard because they're dark and dreary and no one ever wants to expose those parts of themselves. I didn't want anyone to know that they got to me. I wanted to pretend that I was strong and that their words didn't break me but I eventually reached my breaking point. All through school I had to deal with people picking apart my body more so than I already was. So as a result I began purging after I ate, which lasted for a while until my mom finally heard me throwing up after dinner and began keeping a close eye on me. When I finally left for college one of the things I was glad about was that I'd be on my own so no one would notice If I wasn't eating. Part of me was hoping that people would get better and I wouldn't even have to worry about my issues but unfortunately that was wishful thinking. Just because people get older doesn't mean their shitty qualities fade. But if there's one thing I'm good at, it's forcing a smile and pretending like I'm not dying inside. 

While I’m proud of myself for the fact that I haven’t forced myself to purge in a couple of years, the urge is still there. I’m still fighting with myself every single day to be good to myself instead of destroying my body. It’s an everyday process to build up your self-esteem and find it within yourself to love yourself. Especially when you’ve spent so long hating yourself. Hell, I remember looking back at old home videos of family vacations and seeing myself in a halter top and I felt disgusted and I remember being so angry with my mom for letting my go out in that and she just turned to me and said, “Mikayla, you were eight. You were a child.” When you’re a kid you don’t know that something’s “wrong” with you until someone points it out. I was kind of okay with myself until the first time of my friends called me “fat.” You can go out with your friends and start off having a good night and then hear a rude comment and it immediately turn your whole mood around.

One of the things that I’ve tried to do to is to surround myself with people that support and uplift each other. I cannot stress just how important it is to have a good support system because without it, the only things I’d have to go on would be the negative and that would be so damaging to any progress that I’ve tried to make. Having that positive energy around you is essential to your growth and well-being. Try to stop picking apart your body and start finding things that you do love about yourself. Have something that always makes you feel confident and beautiful, whether it be an accessory or your favorite top – whatever. For me, it’s always my band tees or my combat boots. I also have certain songs that always make me feel better, so I’ll listen to those while I’m getting ready to try to lift my mood. Whatever little tricks you have to get yourself out of that slump. Talk to your friends, tell them how you’re feeling and work with someone If you feel you can’t do it alone. There's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help. 

Bottom line: you can’t keep beating yourself up and hurting yourself because you feel that you’re not good enough. You are more than enough. Learn to love yourself and treat yourself like the beauty that you are. Think of it like this: the next time you look into the mirror picture that you’re talking to best friend. Would you stand there and tell your best friend that they were hideous, fat, ugly, etc.? Then why continue to say those things to yourself? Unfortunately, I can’t change the things that others have said about me or take away how shitty they made me feel but I can control what I tell myself. It’s not easy, I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly feel like a brand new person. I’m still going to have bad days. What I can do is try my hardest to have more good days than bad. Because no matter how healthy I eat or how much I work out – nothing is going to change unless I work on what’s on the inside as well.

Okay, we’re about to get a little dark but there’s no other way to discuss this truthfully without getting a bit dark. I was inspired to write this after listening to As It Is's new track "Okay." Now, I can’t speak for everyone so I’m not going to try, I can only speak of what it’s like for me. Mental Illness can be a real bitch some times. It’s unforgiving, unapologetic, and downright rude. Sometimes it’s a mild anxious feeling while you’re in public, other times it’s full on panic attacks, lying on the floor, clutching your chest while you struggle to catch your breath. Sometimes it’s “I’m feeling a bit down right now”, other times it’s you sitting there thinking of ways to hang yourself in the garage.

It’s this sinking feeling that never really goes away. Thankfully, some days are better than others. When it hits, you never know how it’s going to affect you. There’s no way to prepare yourself, or others for the aftermath. For the most part, it’s a hell of a lot easier to deal with it when you’re alone because no one has to see how ugly it is. You’re free to breakdown from the comfort of your room. Other times you’re not so lucky and then someone always asks “are you okay”? And you’ll reply with “fine” to avoid further questions. I don’t think I’ve ever been fine. I’m never okay, but it’s easier than saying “yeah, I wanna die right now but give me a few minutes.”

So, what do you do? We each have our own ways of trying to bring ourselves out of that slump. Coping methods are a dime a dozen. Every article is always telling me to “just breathe” or “do some yoga”. Yeah well, yoga isn’t going to help me right now Barbra, so we gotta come up with another plan. A lot of the time, when I get down I can bring myself back up. It might take a while, but I’ll get there eventually. It doesn’t happen immediately, it’s not like magic. I’m going to feel like shit for a while but I always come back. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes it takes a few days or weeks. When I’m trying to bring myself out of a depressive slump, I do any number of things: writing, listen to music, exercise, read, etc. What it all boils down to is distractions. I distract myself from the problem. Even then, it might not work because it’s hard to distract yourself if five minutes later you realize you were dissociating while your “anxiety” playlist was on.

One thing I’ve realized is that I’m a little messed up, and while that’s sad, it’s okay. A lot of the time I get so angry with myself because I wasn’t able to bring myself back up. It’s a bummer when you’ve spent so many years trying to “get better” and then mental illness shows up like “surprise bitch, bet you thought you’ve seen the last of me.” When that happens I have to remind myself that, this is something I’ll have always have to deal with but at least I’m a bit better at dealing with it now than I was when I was younger. It’s not always perfect. Sometimes I still separate myself and suffer in silence but sometimes I just have to do that. I’m not always going to want to talk about it, a lot of the time I can’t even properly express what I’m dealing with. Sometimes I’m going to sound angry or annoyed because I’m in one of my moods. I never want to take it out on others, but a lot of the time I can’t control how I say certain things or how I react. Sometimes certain sounds or noises will irritate me to the point where I’m almost in a rage. If I hear you humming or just speaking, I’ll want to snap. Sometimes I get so emotionally drained that I’m completely numb and I don’t feel anything. Nothing matters, I’ll have a blank expression, and I’ll sound annoyed. People take it so personal when you’re in a bad mood because they feel like they’ve done something. Like, “no, I don’t hate you, I hate myself.”

Does it actually "get better"? Yes and no. Whether I like it or not, mental illness is a part of me and I have to deal with it. I’ve felt this way for so long, I’m not even sure I know what being “okay” is. Sometimes it feels like I’m not even living, I’m just existing. It’s a hard concept to grasp and I hate it but I deal. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are times when I’m doing better and others when I’m not. There’s no trick to mental illness, there’s no secret to getting better. We just find what works for us and go from there; whether it’s medication, therapy, or our own personal methods – whatever. As long as those methods are healthy and don’t do more harm than good. Years ago my coping methods included hurting myself, self-medicating, forcing myself to throw up, and cutting people off. With time I found better methods and stopped taking it out on myself because of things I can’t control.  

Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping myself alive to see how things play out. It’s like my life is a show and I’m kinda over it but I keep pushing “next episode” because I wanna know how it ends. Does it all work out? I won’t know until I get to the next season. Until then, I just have to keep surviving.

Here's a few song recommendations for when you're feeling less than okay:

 Since a young age, music has been one of my biggest motivators as well as my own personal version of therapy. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety all of my life and music is one of my main methods of coping. I have a special playlist on my phone that I go to whenever I need help getting through hard times or when I feel anxious.

Music can have a huge impact on someone’s life, and for some it’s the only thing they can turn to. At a very young age I had to deal with issues with my mental health as well as events in my personal life that led to my depression worsening and I began to turn to self harm. Music was the main thing that helped me deal with my issues and begin my road to recovery. Thanks to the musical influences I had in my life, I’m now five years clean from self harm.

Everyone needs an outlet that helps inspire them and motivates them to keep going. The songs in this list are my personal favorites that are near and dear to my heart.

Let’s get started.

Headfirst For Halos- My Chemical Romance. This song is one of the most important songs in my life. It immediately lifts my spirits and brings a smile to my face. The lyric “think happy thoughts” is now inked on my left wrist as a reminder that when things get rough, to think of happier times. My left wrist used to be filled with self harm scars, now it’s a reminder that I’m stronger than my addiction.

Famous Last Words- My Chemical Romance. My Chemical Romance is one of the biggest musical influences in my life so of course they’re going to be mentioned more than once. These guys have helped me get through the hardest times in my life. This song in particular is one of my go-to songs. Favorite lyric: “I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone” means so much to me.

I’m Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance. I’m not even going to apologize for adding another MCR song. This song is so influential and it’s perfect for when you need a reminder that it’s okay to admit that things aren’t alright. For so long I would just keep things bottled up and not talk about what I was dealing with and that’s one of the worst things you can do. This song inspired me to finally start speaking out about my issues and realizing that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. Favorite lyric: "You said you'd read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed now."

Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year- Fall Out Boy. Fall Out Boy is another band that I hold close to my heart. This is one of my favorite songs from their album From Under The Cork Tree. It’s almost impossible to be unhappy and listen to this song. Favorite lyric “We’re the therapists pumping through your speaker, delivering just what you need."

Blue and Yellow- The Used. Next to MCR, The Used is another band that has heavily influenced my life. This song in particular stuck with me so much that it inspired my first tattoo. The lyric, “and you never would have thought in the end, how amazing it feels just to live again” really resonated with me because before I was finally able to overcome my issues with self harm I wasn’t really living- I was only existing. I didn’t really start living my life until I overcome that part of my life and I feel stronger because of it and for that, I thank them.

The Taste of Ink- The Used. Yep, here’s another one from The Used. This song makes me want to sing, dance, and be happy. It’s one of those songs that you can feel in the pit of your stomach and it makes you feel alive. Favorite lyric: “So here I am, alive at last. And I’ll savor every moment of this.”

Therapy- All Time Low. This song in particular, is perfect for when you need inspiration. The title is incredibly fitting because it’s honestly therapeutic to listen to. This song offers hope and understanding for those listening and it’s a pretty emotional song. It’s for those that need a push to help them carry on. Favorite lyric: “Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty. But I’m smiling at everything.”

Hold On Till May- Pierce The Veil. Pierce The Veil have so many incredible songs but this one is probably my favorite. It’s so raw and it hits home on so many feelings. Those sinking feelings that you have when you think there’s no way out, this song is a wonderful reminder that it’s temporary and you can make it through this. Favorite lyric: “If I were you I’d put that away. See you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling you’ll be okay.”

She’s the Prettiest Girl at the Party and She Can Prove it With a Solid Right Hook- FrnkIero and the Cellabration. This song makes me incredibly happy. This song is my go-to for pretty much everything. No matter how I’m feeling I know that when I listen to this, nothing else matters. I’m in bliss for the next few minutes. I recently saw this song performed live and cried throughout the entire thing. No shame. Favorite lyric: “I’ve spent my life getting in my own way. So I could use something good, I really need this to work out. Of course the way things are going it might be smarter to just cash out.”

This is Gospel-Panic! At The Disco. Another mood booster. I’m a huge fan of songs that make me want to shout the lyrics and this song is no exception. As the song builds and the chorus kicks in, so does that feeling in my chest. That feeling of happiness and that everything is okay. Favorite lyric: “The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds. But they haven’t seen the best of us yet.”

Okay guys, those are my top ten songs to listen to when I’m down. Music can be life changing, never underestimate the impact that a band or a song can have on someone’s life. Without some of these bands, I have no idea where I’d be right now. Everyone deserves something that makes them feel alive. Find that thing that inspires you and keep the faith.

Thanks to social media and recent “trends”, it’s become a thing to glamorize mental illness. Let’s start off by saying, mental health is not a trend. It’s not a fashion statement that you can parade around.

Now, for those that are not familiar with mental health glamorization, it’s when people perpetrate the belief that mental health is a trend. Something “cute” that some girls on Tumblr made up. For example, when you see those dramatic, black and white photos on Tumblr of some sad girl saying they wish they had some cute guy there to kiss their cuts. Yeah.

That’s just one example of how mental health has been glamorized. Other examples include “sassy” statuses or Pinterest posts saying “stressed, depressed, but well dressed,” clothing companies like Urban Outfitters selling shirts that have “Depression” and “Eat Less” written on it, finding novelty items like shot glasses that look like pill bottles, koozies that say “I want to have a psychiatric disorder named after me,” shirts that say “I thought I was Bipolar but it turns out I’m just an asshole”. Unfortunately, the list could go on.

This all stems from the obvious stigma related to mental health. The belief that mental health isn’t important, that it’s something to be overlooked because there’s “bigger issues to worry about,” despite the fact that mental health difficulties plague many in our society- especially in adolescents and young adults.

Instead of young adults turning to social media as a way to express themselves in a healthy way, connecting with others that also suffer from the mental illness, researching methods on maintain wellbeing and ways to find recovery; they’re met with glamorized images of mental illness. They’re met with popular images of girls crying with bloody wrists and some guy coming to their rescue, black and white photos of skeletal bodies, and floral nooses. You get statuses like “Ugh, super stressed out! #Anxiety,” “I just like having a clean room. I’m so OCD!”

This all adds to the stigma that mental health isn’t to be taken serious. It leads to those in need of help being ignored because mental health is seen as a “trend” or “they’re just being moody”. This leads to individuals being afraid to speak out because they fear being met with criticism instead of receiving the help they need.

Mental health isn’t cute. It’s not a trend and it shouldn’t be treated as such. Mental health is important, just because you can’t see the illness taking effect doesn’t mean it’s not there. You wouldn’t turn to someone with a broken arm, and tell them to “get over it”.

Self harm isn’t cute. It’s feeling worthless as you cry on the bathroom floor holding a razor to your wrist and wincing as you slice into your skin. It’s trying to hide your cuts from everyone so you don’t have to answer questions. It’s a stinging feeling as you try to shower. It’s holding back tears as the guys behind you make “cutting” motions to their arm.

Depression isn’t cute. It’s locking yourself in your room because you physically don’t have the strength to get out of bed. It’s feeling tired and sore all of the time because depression not only hurts mentally, but physically too. It’s wanting to get up and do something but you continue to lie in bed because you also feel like dying. It’s wanting to speak to your friends and family but you’re too exhausted to move.

Anxiety is more than just stressing over a test. It’s getting so anxious about leaving your room that you breakdown on the floor instead of going to class. It’s having panic attacks in the middle of campus and trying to call someone to help talk you down. It’s practicing conversations in your head before you go out so that nothing goes wrong. It’s trying to find your words and then tripping over them and then dying inside when someone points it out.

Mental health is a serious issue that many deal with on a daily basis. Understanding that and educating others, will help lessen the stigma and hopefully end glamorization.

If you or anyone you know is dealing with mental health difficulties, please seek help. You’re not alone, you’re not crazy, and you deserve to be taken seriously.

Anxiety and depression have a way of taking charge of your life and swallowing you whole. It can consume you and the suddenly you feel like you’re drowning. It can make everyday tasks such as going to class, going out with friends, completing assignments, and just leaving your room seem like you’re about to face your impending doom. This has been something I've dealt with since I was a kid, some days are better than others but no matter what I've learned that you can’t let your anxiety hold you back from living your life.

Here are a few things I've learned that help me deal with anxiety and depression and hopefully they’ll help someone else dealing with the same thing.

1.      Time management is KEY!

The main thing that has helped me out is keeping track of all of my assignments, extracurricular activities and other things. Keeping a planner and having all of the things I need to do all in one place helps me stay on track and keeps me from stressing out about missing things. Making to-do lists and keeping reminders in places that I look at constantly like my phone and on my desk help me to make sure I do everything I need to and helps me stay organized. Maintaining organization makes me feel like I have my life together and keeps me from stressing.

2.      Keeping a journal

One of the things I learned from my counselor was to write down the good things that happen during the day, it keeps me from harping on all of the bad things that have happened or could happen. I keep my writings in a notebook that I keep by my desk and at the end of the day I write down the good things that have happened during the day. One of the downsides of anxiety is that it is often paired with depression, having one can be hard; having both can be a nightmare sometimes. This trick also helps me with my depression because one of the things I will do is let the bad things take over and then from then on- everything is terrible. Journaling helps me remember the good things for when I need to be reassured that even when things seem dark there’s still a light at the end of the tunnel.

3.      Skipping class or missing things is a big no-no.

Something that I dealt with was whenever my anxiety and depression became too much to handle is I would shut myself off from everything. My depression kept me from wanting to get out of bed and live my life and then my anxiety would kick in because I would stress about missing things and falling behind. It’s a constant battle. Making yourself get out of bed in the mornings can seem like the hardest thing to do when all you want to do is be alone but you've got to do it. The more things you miss, the more stress you’ll be under and the worse you’ll feel. Be good to yourself and get up in the morning and start your day, it’ll pay off in the long run.

4.      Sleep helps!

Disorganized sleep patterns are a result of anxiety and depression and can affect how you feel. It can range from getting too much sleep or not getting enough sleep- either way you just end up feeling exhausted and then you don’t feel like doing anything. Try to go to bed at a decent time and set an alarm so you can get up feeling refreshed.

5.      Music can be your best friend.

Music has always been my go-to whenever my depression and anxiety become too much to handle. Songs that have the ability to put you in a better mood are so important because when things get rough and you need something to help calm you down and sooth your nerves. I keep a playlist of my favorite songs that help me on my phone so that when I’m out and I start to feel anxious I can listen to them it helps so much.

6.      Don’t be afraid to get help.

Getting help was the last thing I wanted because it felt like I was admitting something was wrong with me and I didn't want to seem crazy. Dealing with anxiety, depression or anything else does not make you crazy and it doesn't mean something’s wrong with you- that’s something I realized after I finally decided to get help. I began receiving help after I let my anxiety and depression rule my life. I had stopped going to class, I didn’t want to see my friends, I wouldn’t talk to my mom about the things that were actually going on, I didn’t want to do anything but sleep because when I’m asleep, I don’t have to deal with life. It started to get bad and my anxiety attacks became more frequent and I had gotten to a really bad place in my life that I had fought for years to bring myself out. I didn’t want to see myself get bad again so I decided enough was enough and I sought help and it was the best decision I had ever made. I now have a wonderful support system that is behind me every step of the way and it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Talking to someone about the things you are going through helps because it lets you know that you’re not going through this alone.

7.      Finally, just BREATHE.

When you feel like things are getting to be too much, just take a moment to gather your thoughts and just breathe. It’s okay, you’re allowed a moment to yourself to get yourself together. If you’re feeling anxious to the point where it seems like everything is caving in and that you’re going to have an anxiety attack, take deep breaths in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. It helps regulate your breathing and slows your heart rate. Take a break from life every once in a while to do things you love whether it’s writing, reading, exercising (which also helps with anxiety on its own), just do things that make you happy and keeps your mind at ease.

These are a few tips that help me with my anxiety and depression and I hope these will help others dealing with similar issues. You’re not alone; don’t destroy yourself when you already have anxiety and depression trying to do that for you. Telling someone with anxiety or depression to "be happy" or "just calm down" is like telling someone that's on fire to stop burning. Everyday will be a challenge but it doesn't have to consume you. It's not something that's going to go away overnight but you can find ways to manage your life. Stay strong.