Ahh 2007, the year of questionable fashion and amazing music. When scene kids were running through Hot Topic, rocking their stripped arm bands and brightly colored extensions, and there were scream covers of literally every song. What a time to be alive.

So let’s take a trip down memory lane, here are 10 songs that turn 10 this year.

1.      Paramore “Misery Business” – Sing it with me, “WHOA, I never meant to brag! But I got him where I want him now.”

2.      We The Kings “Check Yes, Juliet” – Be honest, this was everyone’s profile song on Myspace at one point. I had the pleasure of seeing this live during Warped 2016, but you can catch it during their 10 year anniversary tour.

3.      Fall Out Boy “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race” – Infinity on High was such a defining point for FOB. They took a huge risk and revamped their sound and it definitely worked out in their favor. It kicked off a trend for the band of reinventing themselves each album and we can all thank Infinity on High for that.

4.       Mayday Parade “Black Cat” – One of my favorite songs to see performed live. Which you can get a chance to do during their A Lesson in Romantics anniversary tour.

5.      Cobra Starship “The City Is at War” – Iconic. Personally, one of the band’s best songs and music video. An undercover pie business, Pete Wentz in a handlebar mustache? Classic Cobra.

6.      All Time Low “Dear Maria, Count Me In” - *clears throat* I GOT YOUR PICTURE, I’M COMING WITH YOU. DEAR MARIA, COUNT ME IN! Another one of those songs that everyone just knows the words to, it immediately puts you in a good mood and it most definitely was your profile song on Myspace.

7.      Pierce The Veil “Yeah Boy and Doll Face” – My absolute favorite track from A Flair For The Dramatic. Personally, I feel it’s one of the songs that really pushed PTV onto the scene and into our hearts.

8.      Arctic Monkeys “Florescent Adolensccent” – AM is good but Favorite Worst Nightmare is their best album.

9.      Avenged Sevenfold “Afterlife” – It’s okay, we cry during this too.

10.  The Academy Is… “We’ve Got a Big Mess On Our Hands” – Here’s to hoping our boys will make another comeback for the 10^th anniversary of Santi. Beckett, I’m begging you.

Now go on and break out your old rainbow studded belt and fingerless gloves.

Okay, we’re about to get a little dark but there’s no other way to discuss this truthfully without getting a bit dark. I was inspired to write this after listening to As It Is's new track "Okay." Now, I can’t speak for everyone so I’m not going to try, I can only speak of what it’s like for me. Mental Illness can be a real bitch some times. It’s unforgiving, unapologetic, and downright rude. Sometimes it’s a mild anxious feeling while you’re in public, other times it’s full on panic attacks, lying on the floor, clutching your chest while you struggle to catch your breath. Sometimes it’s “I’m feeling a bit down right now”, other times it’s you sitting there thinking of ways to hang yourself in the garage.

It’s this sinking feeling that never really goes away. Thankfully, some days are better than others. When it hits, you never know how it’s going to affect you. There’s no way to prepare yourself, or others for the aftermath. For the most part, it’s a hell of a lot easier to deal with it when you’re alone because no one has to see how ugly it is. You’re free to breakdown from the comfort of your room. Other times you’re not so lucky and then someone always asks “are you okay”? And you’ll reply with “fine” to avoid further questions. I don’t think I’ve ever been fine. I’m never okay, but it’s easier than saying “yeah, I wanna die right now but give me a few minutes.”

So, what do you do? We each have our own ways of trying to bring ourselves out of that slump. Coping methods are a dime a dozen. Every article is always telling me to “just breathe” or “do some yoga”. Yeah well, yoga isn’t going to help me right now Barbra, so we gotta come up with another plan. A lot of the time, when I get down I can bring myself back up. It might take a while, but I’ll get there eventually. It doesn’t happen immediately, it’s not like magic. I’m going to feel like shit for a while but I always come back. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes it takes a few days or weeks. When I’m trying to bring myself out of a depressive slump, I do any number of things: writing, listen to music, exercise, read, etc. What it all boils down to is distractions. I distract myself from the problem. Even then, it might not work because it’s hard to distract yourself if five minutes later you realize you were dissociating while your “anxiety” playlist was on.

One thing I’ve realized is that I’m a little messed up, and while that’s sad, it’s okay. A lot of the time I get so angry with myself because I wasn’t able to bring myself back up. It’s a bummer when you’ve spent so many years trying to “get better” and then mental illness shows up like “surprise bitch, bet you thought you’ve seen the last of me.” When that happens I have to remind myself that, this is something I’ll have always have to deal with but at least I’m a bit better at dealing with it now than I was when I was younger. It’s not always perfect. Sometimes I still separate myself and suffer in silence but sometimes I just have to do that. I’m not always going to want to talk about it, a lot of the time I can’t even properly express what I’m dealing with. Sometimes I’m going to sound angry or annoyed because I’m in one of my moods. I never want to take it out on others, but a lot of the time I can’t control how I say certain things or how I react. Sometimes certain sounds or noises will irritate me to the point where I’m almost in a rage. If I hear you humming or just speaking, I’ll want to snap. Sometimes I get so emotionally drained that I’m completely numb and I don’t feel anything. Nothing matters, I’ll have a blank expression, and I’ll sound annoyed. People take it so personal when you’re in a bad mood because they feel like they’ve done something. Like, “no, I don’t hate you, I hate myself.”

Does it actually "get better"? Yes and no. Whether I like it or not, mental illness is a part of me and I have to deal with it. I’ve felt this way for so long, I’m not even sure I know what being “okay” is. Sometimes it feels like I’m not even living, I’m just existing. It’s a hard concept to grasp and I hate it but I deal. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are times when I’m doing better and others when I’m not. There’s no trick to mental illness, there’s no secret to getting better. We just find what works for us and go from there; whether it’s medication, therapy, or our own personal methods – whatever. As long as those methods are healthy and don’t do more harm than good. Years ago my coping methods included hurting myself, self-medicating, forcing myself to throw up, and cutting people off. With time I found better methods and stopped taking it out on myself because of things I can’t control.  

Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping myself alive to see how things play out. It’s like my life is a show and I’m kinda over it but I keep pushing “next episode” because I wanna know how it ends. Does it all work out? I won’t know until I get to the next season. Until then, I just have to keep surviving.

Here's a few song recommendations for when you're feeling less than okay:

I talk about horror a lot on my blog, but I’ve never truly talked about my favorite horror films. I’ve mentioned a few here or there, but I’ve never actually sat down and listed off my top picks. So today, I’m going to be talking about my top 10 favorites – old and new. I’ve been a horror fan for as long as I can remember and I’m always looking for excuses to talk about horror. So without further adieu, let’s get started.

1.      The Exorcist: This film is truly iconic. It was one of the first the fuel my love for the genre. It also taught me at a young age that Ouija boards are nothing to mess with, unless you want your head to spin around like an owl. Everything from the visuals, the effects, the makeup – it all stuck with me; embedding itself into my brain. Makeup artist, Dick Smith’s work on this film is unparalleled. I’ve recreated his work on Linda Blair many times but his old age makeup Max Von Sydow is just unbelievable. Seeing Blair’s transformation from innocent little girl to the most frightening case of demonic possession ever was incredible. This is the film I go to when I want to relax, simply because it brings me so much joy. This film also just had its 43^rd anniversary!

2.      Hostel Part I and II: For those that know me best, they know that I adore Eli Roth. I sort of cheated and I’m grouping these two films together because I watch them both so much. In the first film, a group of friends are backpacking through Europe when they come across a shady hostel. They end up getting wrapped up in a business where you can pay to torture someone – and American’s go for a lot of cash. Roth said the idea was inspired by the time he came across a Japanese website where you can go into a room and for a large sum of money, you can shoot someone. The torture scenes are by far some of my favorites and Part II steps it up to another level. Part II is definitely my overall fave of the two because the main character is a badass female that *spoiler alert* actually makes it out alive. One of my favorite moments is the Elizabeth Bathory inspired scene where Heather Matarazzo is strung up by her feet over a bathtub and gets sliced by a woman who then bathes in her blood. The price of beauty is insane.

3.      Martyrs: This film is a French-Canadian horror that truly leaves you speechless after you finish it. I’m a huge fan of films that have a deeper meaning that has an explanation to the madness and that leaves you wanting more. The film follows a young girl named Lucie that escaped a slaughterhouse where she had been imprisoned and abused for years. She was then placed in an orphanage where she meets a girl that quickly befriended her. Years later, they both break into the home of the people Lucie believes to be responsible for her childhood abuse. It’s brutal and heartbreaking, and the last half of the movie is what truly makes it all worthwhile.

4.      Suspiria: I love Italian horror, and I love Dario Argento even more. Suspiria was the first Argento film I ever saw and I’ve been hooked ever since. The film follows an American ballet student that transfers to this prestigious school in Germany, only to find out that it’s being run by a coven of witches. This film has some of the most beautiful imagery I’ve ever seen in a horror film. The death scenes in this film are horrific, but they’re done in such stylized and vibrant way that you don’t want to look away. They literally put the “gore” in “gorgeous”. One of the first deaths in the film involves a ballet dancer that’s attacked and hung from the ceiling. She falls through this beautiful stained glass ceiling, everything is brilliant and in your face, in typical Argento fashion. The score from this film is amazing too.

5.      Freddy vs. Jason: Okay, so this film is one of my most-watched films in my collection. I can recite every line in the film, it’s insane. I included Freddy vs. Jason because I couldn’t just put the entirety of both series’ on the list so I kinda of cheated again because I love them both. It was like a horror-fan’s wet dream to see these two battle it out. I’m a huge fan of the death’s in this film, so I love that the DVD featured the “jump to a death” option that’s also featured on all of the Nightmare DVD’s. Freddy is beyond pissed that people have found a way to forget about him, especially since it’s out fear that gives him his power. So he decides to visit Camp Crystal Lake and wake up our old pal, Jason. He just needs Jason to kill a few people so that they think Freddy’s back on Elm St. – except Jason’s having too much fun and doesn’t know when to stop. This film is so much fun to watch. It’s always a party when your two favorites collide and leave nothing but blood and destruction behind them.

6.      Thirteen Ghosts: I’ve made so many of my friends watch this film because it’s so much fun to watch. What really drew me to this film were the death scenes and the makeup. Aside from The Exorcist, this film features some of my favorite special effects. The ghosts in this film are all so intriguing and their makeup is insane. This film follows a man and his family after they inherit a glass house from their late uncle, Cyrus. The only problem is, the basement is full of ghosts. The film is a remake of the William Castle film by the same name. It also features the same concept of being able to see the ghosts when you put on these special glasses, which was a gimmick that Castle used to draw people into the theaters. One of the most interesting things about this film is the ghosts themselves. If you get the DVD, there’s a special feature that allows you to see mini introductions to the ghosts – allowing you to see how they died and what they were like until their death. My personal favorite is The Jackal, one of the more vicious of the ghosts.

  

7.      The Last House on the Left: Wes Craven is one of my favorite names in horror. So many of his films hold a special place in my heart, and this is one of them. This film is one of my favorites from the 70's Exploitation craze. These films were raw, gritty, and brutal and often involved a tale of revenge. In this film, a young girl and her friend are terrorized by a group of criminals that kidnap them and then subject them to incredibly brutal acts. They stab one of the girls to the point of disembowelment, they eventually shoot the main girl as she tries to escape in the river, and they sexually assault them. It’s almost like watching a snuff film. The criminals unknowingly take refuge in the house of one of the girls after her parents so graciously show them hospitality, allowing them to escape the storm. The parents inevitably find out who they are and what they did and decide to take matters into their own hands. Seeing the parents get revenge is so delicious and you’re rooting for them the entire time. This film was remade in 2009, and while a lot of remakes tend to fall flat, I really enjoyed this film. The parent’s revenge scenes are even more brutal and gory than in the original. The original however, remains my favorite over the two because of the grittiness of the film, helping it appear even more realistic.

8.      Scream: Another Craven film I just couldn’t help but mention. Craven once said that he came up with the idea for this film after people came up to him and said how much they loved "The Last House on the Left, when are you gonna do something scary again?” So he came up with the concept for Scream, a slasher film that successfully makes fun of the horror genre. It’s the perfect film for horror nerds like me that get way too into the genre and asks themselves “if they have what it takes to survive a horror movie?” The film even includes a scene where Randy Meeks gives an impromptu lesson on the rules of horror. The film follows Sydney Prescott, your typical innocent final girl, as she’s stalked by a masked killer that’s offing the people of Woodsboro. This film is smart, sarcastic and it’s the quintessential knife in the back of horror all while serving up some delicious blood and gore. One of my favorite things that Scream did was hire a big name like Drew Barrymore and they hung and disemboweled her in the first few minutes of the film. Iconic. I also had an unhealthy crush on Billy Loomis but that’s a story for another day. Long story short: every horror fan is Randy Meeks.

*heart eyes*

9.      Carrie: “They’re all gonna laugh at you!” This is probably my favorite Stephen King adaptation and novel. A classic tale of a misfit who’s had enough of everyone’s shit and just looses it. Sissy Spacek’s performance was incredible, but Piper Laurie’s portrayal of Margaret White really nailed it. The way she controlled Carrie and how she essentially made her afraid of (and essentially hate) her own body was unsettling. Calling her breasts her “dirty pillows”, punishing her for getting her period, locking her in that dark closet with the creepiest Jesus figurine I’ve ever seen – was probably more frightening than the prom scene. In this film, poor little Carrie White was bullied and ridiculed by everyone and then she discovers that she has telekinesis, the power to move and manipulate things with her mind. The rest of the film involves Carrie getting covered in pig’s blood and then all hell breaks loose at prom. It’s so satisfying because you’re so ready to see Carrie get revenge on her tormentors and she delivers. This film spawned a sequel and two remakes. I’m actually a big fan of the remake, The Rage: Carrie 2, I had it on VHS as a kid. Bonus: Check out the song “Hell In The Hallways” by Ice Nine Kills that was inspired by the novel.

10.  House of 1,000 Corpses & The Devil’s Rejects: Okay, so I cheated again and I’m pairing these two together because if I had to pick some horror films that defined me as a person, I’d pick these two. My dad gave me House of 1,000 Corpses on DVD when it first came out because he knew how much I loved horror. I was hooked form the very beginning, which was strange because the first thing you see is Captain Spaulding and I am not a fan of clowns. He’s just so dang charming, you have to make an exception. Now, the first film follows a group of friends travelling through the back roads of Texas as they look for strange and unusual places throughout America. They come across Captain Spaulding and try out his “murder ride” where they learn about the legend of Doctor Satan. From there these kids are subjected to unimaginable horrors as they encounter the Firefly family. The Firefly family is like the Manson Family on acid, they’re intense and insane and you do not want to end up at their house on Halloween night- or any night for that matter. My favorite of the bunch is Baby, played by Sheri Moon Zombie. I was immediately drawn to her character from the beginning but I fell in love when she gleefully chased down Mary and then slaughtered her while laughing maniacally. I’ve worked in haunted houses before and whenever I had to play a maniac, I channel my inner Baby.  Now the sequel, The Devil’s Rejects, is so much different from the first film. Where the first film is more stylized and cartoonish at times, The Devil’s Rejects is more realistic and gritty, similar to the exploitation films of the 70's. The sequel follows The Firefly family as they’re on the run from the police because they’re whole operation has been found out. This film is interesting because there’s no group of victims for you to sympathize with or root for, you’re basically forced to relate to this family of sadistic murderers that get a kick out of torturing people, having sex with their bodies, kept body parts in the fridge and stuffed under the crawlspace in the house – you get the picture. You get the see Otis, Baby and Captain Spaulding as they from skinning a man’s face and forcing his wife to wear it to laughing and enjoying some Tutti Frutti ice cream. These films are brutal but you’re drawn in by the charismatic characters and the story. You wanna know “are they gonna make it? Are they going to get away with everything?”

Alright I’m finished now. This ended up being a lot longer than expected but when it comes to my favorites – I have a lot to say.

So I recently turned 24 on January 7^th. I may have been snowed in thanks to the snowstorm that came through NC but that didn’t stop me from sitting around with dramatic eye makeup as I sat and watched movies and read comic books.

So I bring you two makeup looks: one simple and one dramatic. I mainly used the same products for both looks and just tweaked minor details to create a bolder, more in-your face look. I've been really into red shadow (more than I usually am), and I've been obsessed with playing around with my Kylie Burgundy Pallet since I got it for Christmas. The matte shades are fantastic, but the shimmers need a little extra work to show up. They're still really pretty once you build up the pigmentation. 

1^st look:

Brows: L'Oreal Brow Stylist Frame & Set in Deep Brunette

Elf Duel-Ended Brow Brush

Wet N Wild Clear Brow Gel

Eyes:

KVD Beauty Shade and Light Eye Pallet

Kylie Cosmetics The Burgundy Pallet

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Muse

Maybelline Gel Liner in Blackest Black

Hard Candy Lashaholic Mascara

Lips:

Colourpop Ultra Matte Lipstick in Teeny Tiny

Highlighter:

Colourpop Super Shock Highlighter in Candy Man

2^nd Look:

Brows: Same as above

Eyes:

Urban Decay Naked 3 Pallet

Kylie The Burgundy Pallet

KVD Lock-it Concealer to cut the crease

Elf Flat Concealer Brush

Hard Candy Glitter Liner in Purple on the lid

Kiss Lashes in KFLO1

Maybelline Gel Liner in Blackest Black 

Hard Candy Lashaholic Mascara

Lips:

Colourpop Ultra Matte in Guess on the outside and Ultra Matte in Notion on top.

Ah 2016, quite possibly one of the wildest years ever. When we weren’t too busy mourning a dead gorilla (RIP Harambe), indulging in memes or doing countless challenges – we were blessed with some amazing music by many artists. These were the true saviors of 2016, the silver lining that stood out amongst the wreckage that was 2016.

Out of the many gifts that were bestowed unto the music scene in 2016, here are my personal favorites. These were the albums that I listened to forwards, backwards, and on repeat. The songs I sang in the shower, the lyrics that became Instagram captions, and the ones I’m still blasting in 2017.

1.       Death Spells Nothing Above, Nothing Below: For those that follow Frank Iero and James Dewees, we’ve been waiting for this album since 2013. The pair first formed Death Spells around 2012 when they were sharing an apartment in North Hollywood. They opened for Mindless Self Indulgence, played a couple of festivals like Skate Fest and released a few demos as well as their first full single “Where Are My Fucking Pills?” and then had to put DS to the side due to other projects. Death Spells then dropped a bomb on the fans when they announced that the band was alive and planning to drop their debut album on July 29^th, 2016. We were shook. Death Spells has such a unique and interesting sound. It’s a mix of electric hardcore, industrial, and electropunk. Listening to this album was like an acid trip that you wanted to experience again and again. As I’ve mentioned hundreds of times, I’m a fan of Iero’s lyrics and his approach and style when it comes to music, and if you’re a fan of Reggie and The Full Effect, The Get Up Kids, or any of Dewees various other projects you’re familiar with his brilliance. Needless to say, as soon as the news dropped – I pre-ordered the vinyl bundle.

Favorite track: “Fantastic Bastards”

2.      Frank Iero and the Patience Parachutes: We all saw this coming, please don’t judge me (or do, it’s totally fine). Iero dropped his second solo album Parachutes under a new band name, which had the entire fandom puzzled. When asked what prompted the name change Iero explained the names are related to what he needs or is experiencing during the creation of the albums in an interview with Rock Sound. During the first album “brought a celebration, or cellabration, to distract from my awkwardness” due to feeling uncomfortable in the front man position. “Now in my life, I need to learn how to slow down and love where I am. I need the patience to appreciate the now.” It’s a way of reinventing yourself, the band, and your sound as you develop a new album – and essentially a new era for the band itself. Parachutes was a lot more raw and personal than Stomachaches. Even the songs themselves were clearer and less distorted, allowing Iero’s voice to shine to its full potential. The album was also a lot more emotionally demanding than the first, each song relating to personal experiences and hardships. One song in particular that stands out is "9-6-15" which is day Frank’s grandfather passed away, a day he calls “one of the worst days of his life,” understandably so. Parachutes is raw, stripped down, and it allows you to fully connect with the band on another level. Definitely give it a listen.

Favorite track: “Oceans”

3.      Panic! At The Disco Death of a Bachelor: AKA: The album Brendon Urie made in his home studio that he calls “Urie-Lectric” and I’m not the least bit surprised. Urie recorded each song himself. The instruments, the vocals, the production – everything that went into this masterpiece came from him and it’s absolutely brilliant. Lyrically, Urie was inspired by his wife Sarah, which is pretty evident considering it’s basically his way of saying “goodbye” to his bachelor days and “hello” to sweet marital bliss. Death of a Bachelor spawned some of the band’s most visually intriguing videos; which says a lot when you look at their earlier videos (people wearing fish tanks on their heads, a circus-themed wedding, pornomime, etc). The video for “Emperor’s New Clothes” starred Urie in all of his sinful glory as he transforms into a demon, “LA Devotee” was basically Urie’s way of saying he’s actually the Demogorgon from Stranger Things, and I’m not even going to go into “Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time”. This album earned Urie his first Grammy nomination and I couldn’t be more proud.

Favorite track: “House of Memories”

4.      Tonight Alive Limitless: Limitless is the third studio album from Australia natives Tonight Alive. The band unveiled a fresh new sound - vastly different from the alternative rock feel of The Other Side, and the pop punk infused What Are You So Scared Of. Like most bands, Tonight Alive wanted to reinvent their sound and take it new level. Their sound evolved and as the band grew and matured – so did their music. It’s more melodic and theatrical, each song sounding like a new declaration of freedom. Almost as if it’s their way of saying “we know this is different from what you’re used to, but we’ve got to be free to create the way we want to.” Which is pretty ballsy, and it’s something I can get behind. “Drive”, one of the first singles from Limitless, is definitely on the pop spectrum. With delicious hooks and a melody that just makes you feel good. It’s one of my favorite to see live because Jenna’s dance moves are actually the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Even with the new sound, there’s still a hint of their heavier angst-filled sound that TA fans know and love; something that’s evident in their track “How Does It Feel?” There’s something very liberating about this album and I’m grateful that I have so many great memories from 2016 attached to it.

Favorite Track: “How Does It Feel?”

5.      Pierce The Veil Misadventures: I believe I’ve listened to this album at least every other day since its release. My boys in Pierce The Veil had me shook when they dropped Misadventures. Misadventures is the follow up to their third album Collide With The Sky, which was probably my favorite release from PTV – but then they dropped this bad boy. It has all the heart of a traditional PTV album wrapped in an entirely brand-spanking new sound. Frontman Vic Fuentes said that when they went into recording, they aimed to top the last one, which is what they strive to do for every album. I feel they’ve accomplished that. Each song on this album represents a personal journey for the band. The places they’ve recorded, the things they’ve experienced, where they’ve lived – it all ties in perfectly to the album title. So far, they’ve made all the right moves when it come to releasing singles. “The Divine Zero”, “Texas is Forever”, and “Circles” are all so unique and showcase bits and pieces of the magic that’s on this album. I’m almost ashamed to admit that I listen to “Circles” at least five times a day. Almost.

Favorite Track: “Today I Saw The Whole World”

Honorable mentions:

Green Day- Revolution Radio (AKA Green Day emerged from their four-year break to Make America Punk Again).

Blink-182- California (AKA the return of my favorite pop punk dads)

I Prevail- Lifelines ( AKA “Stuck In Your Head” is actually still playing on repeat in my head on a regular basis – thanks a lot guys)

What were your favorite releases of 2016?